Me & the Corona virus in Salisbury

 Sat in Marks and Spencer's cafe with my parents after dad's hospital appointment. Something we haven't done for a while, and possibly won't again. Nice sat together as a family, so make use of it while I can. Had a small pizza and carrot cake, the latte is much better then Weatherspoons. I see BT are going to phase out landline telephone handsets by 2025, something about the copper wires being replaced. Had some woman knocking at the door about it this afternoon, now all telephones have to be plugged into modems. What if you don't have a PC? What would Alexander Graham Bell think about his invention being phased out? Gran never had a phone, although they were different in her time. My handset could end up in a museum.

Lize's funeral is on the 10th Feb, Alan's picking me up on the 6th. I hope he can drop me off a week on Sunday, if not aunt Joan will have to take me back or I get National Express. I just don't want to run out of medicine, I hope Alan doesn't mess me around. Sometimes he treats me like shit and can be very insensitive, belittling me and making fun yet he don't like people making fun of him. Says I'm useless, so is he but he doesn't know it. He's hardly got any friends, I wonder why. He's what you call a loner. Went to Warminster today, it was freezing. Met a woman on her way to London, bit dodgy there with the virus. I don't think Boris J is going to last much longer, the police are checking him out. Dad's got an ear appointment tomorrow at the hospital, hope he wraps up warm. Bloody back gave me gip in the shower yesterday, I couldn't put a towel on my head. I know that apart from my parents, no one else cares about me. You'd think ...

 At 6.20pm today Elizabeth passed into the hands of God, I'm am gutted I can't believe she's gone. Aunt Joan thinks it'll be better if I now to go to her funeral instead of coming down Saturday. I only hope Alan can pick me up, if not it'll have to be National Express. Aunt Joan said the party might have tired her out, I'm going to miss her. I didn't think Christmas 2019 would be the last time we'd be together as a family. Freezing fog tonight, really bad along the town path I couldn't see the cathedral. I met the WI at Gills house. I went to the wrong house first, an answered and said I needed num 19. Sat at a table and played Scrabble, forgotten how much I'd liked the game. Eerily quiet as I cycled back, back to unknown sad news. Alan doesn't know yet, he will be devestated. I only hope I can attend the funeral. I want to.

Crawled out of bed this morning at 2.15 as I had another banging headache, some people got the fridge freezers this morning so now there's a bit of room in the shed now; only one cooker to go. For some reason when I was younger, I wanted to own a horse.  I asked mum if I could have one for Christmas and got a resounding ' NO! '  What I did get was a hobby horse which are dog Jinky ripped apart shortly afterwards, end of that then. The Flying Scotsman came to  Salisbury railway station one April, the platform was absolutely jam packed.  I saw the train pass over Fisherton bridge towards London, the smoky smell was awful.  I got to the sorting office and saw the fire people were putting out flames in the bushes, which the Flying Scotsman had started with cinders coming out the chimney.  Mum laughed when i told her, she said washing used to catch alight when the trains passed or the washing would become sooty-fied. I said to the bloke ' the trains left a ...

I try hard not to cry but I didn't expect to outlive my eldest cousin. We have known each other since kids, and all I'll have left of her is photographs.  She'll never see me grow old, not on the earth plain anyway. She'll be with uncle Mike, gran and grandad. It just seems so final. I'm going up to Rugby on Saturday, this could be the final chance I get to see Liz she's cheerful.  They had a party at a Chinese restaurant last night, to make up for her spending her birthday in hospital. Was told they had a special room with a bed in, she can only eat food from the hospital and has a catheter and can't do the other without help from the nurses. That's a scrap dealer collecting the 2 fridge freezers that's in the shed tomorrow. I have to crawl out the bed at 7.30 as he's coming at 8 am to get them. The media are still going on about these illegal parties.

Liz came out of the hospital today. Aunt Joan says she looks thin with yellow skin, Liz has got liver cancer which the hospital can't do anything about.  Aunt Joan says it won't be long now, they've moved her bed downstairs. I can't believe she will die and I'll never see her on the earth plane again. She'll be with uncle Mike who died within four months of Leukaemia, I'm going to miss her 😢 Alan's not eating properly apparently, he and Liz are close always texting each other.  Only be me, Karl and Alan left in years to come. Will I be forgotten? Liz won't see me get any older, she'll never see me in my retirement years. I didn't expect anything to happen like this. I can't get up there to see her as I live too far away, mum can't leave dad on his own. Cancers ripped everything apart, and that's unvaccinated idiots in beds needed by them. Liz and aunt Joan came down one summer to visit all their old haunts. They visited grans hou...

 I was on the bus yesterday at the top of Festival Avenue, and some teenagers threw stones at the bus as it was going down the hill. The bus stopped and the driver got out but the cowards had fled, they threw more stones as we went by the bungalows on Gainsborough Close. The driver shouted that he'd got them on camera, I hope he has. I saw them that morning looking shifty and ignored them. I had to get a parcel from the post office that evening, so I waited at the stop along Rawlence Road; otherwise, I would have been waiting for the bus with them idiots!  Things happen for a reason, I was going to get the parcel the next day but had a strong urge I needed to get it that evening. Aunt Joan rang dad just before dinner, watched a film about the Santa Fey trail. Helped mum dry up, then she rang aunt Joan who wasn't in; aunt Joan then rang mum. They can't do anything more for Elizabeth, so they are sending her home. We must be cursed, mum says losing the eldest daughter must ru...

  Only four of us at the carer creative group today, so we did stencils.  there was a group of OAP's in the hall singing along to 1960's songs.  The room we were in was cold as apparently the boiler was acting up, energy prices are set to go up soon.   I love photography, getting out there and capturing what will one day be a vanished world.  I have no interest in fashion or glamour, it does nothing for me. Henri Cartiar Bresson ( 1908 - 2004)  is one of my influences, he was a street photographer from France.  He went all over the world Taking photo's of daily life, if we don't captyre our past we have nothing to show future generations.    Talking about future generations I was watching David Attenborough last night about music that animals make, including whales who sing and click and birds that mimic chainsaws and police sirens.  Sadly it ended with a recording of a bird in Hawaii that looked like a black bir...

So we might get have to live with the virus? Do I want to spend the rest of my life too scared to step out the door in case I get infected Not being able to see friends again who aren't in my bubble, for fear of contracting the plague. Not being able to go to support groups, only having them online reminds me of how isolated I am. it's not good to stare constantly at a computer screen for hours on end, as it tends to trigger off headaches. Not being able to go on holiday, without bringing something invisible back with me which kills. Having a bit of material or plastic glued to my face all day long isn't my idea of fun. But what else can I do, I have to protect others. I don't want to spend the rest of my days like that, I know life is never going to be the same again. I'm slowly going nuts me thinks. lets lighten the vibration.  I'm enjoying my Kindle and I'm reading a book about ghosts of the civil war, I don't normally read spooky stories at night but...

I couldn't go on my walking for health yesterday as I had to sort dad out yet again, because he had red urine. Mum rang my landline as they had rung 111 and they said they would try to contact the nurse from 8 pm, but no one showed up.  I rang the Wilton District nurse four times and got the answering machine, the nurse did come in the afternoon.  They are very stretched because of the Omicron virus and no one was in the office to man the phone! What is the point of telling us we can contact them anytime when all you get is the answering machine because no one is bloody there in the office!! I'm not ready to lose dad yet, he sleeps all day in the chair and I know it winds mum up but I can't do anything. Spoke to Aunt Joan, Elizabeth is in hospital and has been since Boxing day.  Liz had had breast cancer and they are doing tests on her because she's getting bloating.  Aunt Joan says the diagnosis isn't very good and made me promise not to tell mum or anyone...

  It's Karl and Elizabeth's birthday today, Liz is in hospital as she's having a scan.  Dad's gone in too which is a bit worrying as he was bleeding last night, mum rang me this morning which is worrying.  So when I had my meeting with Human Henge I will go up mums. Got to get her Rachel's rice and a newspaper, think I'll use my bike but it's that hill by Liz gardens that put me off. Dad came out of the hospital, he's on antibiotics.

What a damp squib the fireworks were. The sky flashed and lit up the cloud from the Bishopdown Laverstock area that was about all. Surprisingly a bus was going along Gainsborough close, watching the lit windows as they went up At Michaels hill. Must have been the very last bus going back into town. Thought I heard some fireworks going off at 3 am in the distance towards Wilton, who'd be doing that at that time? Liz was admitted to hospital on Boxing Day, hope she's ok it's worrying for aunt Joan. They are doing tests because of bloating she's got. A lot of carrying On films are being shown lately, they are dated now but I don't mind them.  dad had to get someone out because his catheter had stopped again, he's had nothing but trouble since they put that in.  Must be awful for him but to nurses came round that evening, no loud music from the Nortons this year.