Thursday 21th March 2021

I had a zoom meeting with Human Henge, and Salisbury museum on Wednesday morning; I've had a bad back ever since.

I have curvature of the spine, and it's a damned pain in the ass, or should I say back. It's like I have a severe knot of pain in my lower back, it can affect my walking and my disability makes me feel unwell.

I was first diagnosed with the condition at age 7. I had a cold which just wasn't going away, after a lot of prodding I was sent up to the hospital. The nearest spinal department was at Southampton general, as there wasn't a spinal department other than at Salisbury hospital.

Mum said that gran said I'd grow out of it (my disability). I wish.

I and my parents had to get a train to Southampton Central and walked through a park. There's a memorial dedicated to the engineers who worked and died on the Titanic in the park. Those brave men kept the lights burning while the ship was sinking.

We got another bus to the hospital which I think was in Shirley just outside the city, funnily enough, my mum's name. There's a huge cemetery over the road from the hospital. 

I remember we had to follow coloured lines or footsteps printed on the floor, to find the right department.

There weren't many people in the waiting room, I remember looking out of a window at fenced off areas which reminded me of animal pens.

My Dr was called Mr Jackson, he was very abrupt. I'm sure he meant well, but in those days doctors didn't mess around. Because of my learning difficulty, I was never fully understood.

I had to wear a plastic brace, which was white, and very cumbersome to wear. It was moulded to my body shape with straps at the back which when pulled tight, was quite terrifying.

People at school used to call me names because I was wearing a brace. Like hunchback of Notre Dame because my clothes didn't hide my brace very well and the brace popped out the back of my jumper. I couldn't sit on the floor in assembly during school because it was just too uncomfortable, so I used to sit on a bench right at the back behind people.

In the summer my brace could be very stifling, and the damn thing would give me a nasty pinch on the backside if I sat down wrong on it. When I did remove it for a little while, my skin peeled off the inside so I had to be very careful about taking it off. Did I mention but my rib cage on the right-hand side of my body is deformed, because of the way my corset sat on my torso.

I've had several over the years, the last one I wore is still in the wardrobe but my parents and is probably now an antique. I'll still keep it because 'stays' as my parents called it have changed over the years. and they are like Victorian Edwardian stays, except the ones I will be made of hard plastic and not whalebone. 

I have since worn proper Victorian corsets for plays, I can well appreciate those women of 100 years ago who wore is a fashion statement. The welcome relief I felt when I took the bloody thing off, is indescribable.

I remember that I had to do physiotherapy, even when I went away on holiday.

My parents wanted to bin my corset after my treatment was over, but I firmly said no.  I'm glad I said no, as I've said this style of treatment will be an antique one day.

So now today I'm stuck with a bad back, I don't know if it's the way I sat in my computer chair, I haven't lifted anything heavy. Getting my shoes on and tied up can be a bit of a nightmare, as it can be a bit painful.

I don't know what I'm moaning about really. King Richard III had Wors curvature of the spine than I did, and he had to go into battle with his! 

I wish the pain would go.